Plan a Dinner Party for Adults and Children

The Short Answer

A dinner party for adults and children works best when you plan it with the adults who are bringing the children. Before you settle the menu or the timeline, agree on four things with them: what the children will eat, which activities are on offer, which adult is responsible for each part of the evening, and when everyone arrives, eats and leaves. A simple planning grid keeps these decisions in one place. Handle seat-by-seat placement afterward as a separate seating-chart task.

Start With the Accompanying Adults

Metro's guide to hosting a kid-friendly dinner party recommends several early steps. Ask the accompanying adults about food preferences. Take the children's existing schedules into account. Identify an adult contact. Agree on which rooms of the home are available to the children. Each of these steps replaces a guess with an answer from the people who know each child.

• Questions to ask each household:
• What does each child usually eat, and are there foods to avoid or include?
• What does the child's normal evening routine look like, and when do they usually leave or wind down?
• Is there anything you plan to bring, such as a favorite plate, cup or comfort item?
• Would you be willing to supervise an activity, or would you rather stay at the table?
• Which activities does your child enjoy?

Don't assume an accompanying adult has taken on a hosting role. If you want someone to supervise drawing or watch a play room, ask them directly and record the answer.

Choose Meal Options From What You Learned

Build the menu from the preferences each household confirmed, not from a generic list of kids' foods. For example, if two families mention the same favorites, those dishes can anchor the shared meal. Any individual needs can be met with a separate component rather than a whole separate menu. Ask the relevant adult to confirm each child's needs instead of relying on age-based assumptions or published menu examples.

If you want the children involved in the meal, I'm the Chef Too! suggests letting them create the menu or the invitations. It also suggests picking a theme for the evening. These are optional ideas for making the meal part of the fun. They are not methods for changing how any particular child eats.

Pick Activities and the Rooms They Use

Choose a small number of activities that fit the rooms you have agreed to open. Metro mentions drawing and board games, which need little setup and work at a table or on the floor. I'm the Chef Too! adds two more ideas. One is conversation prompts at the table, which give adults and children something to talk about together. The other is organizing any ingredients before a food-based activity begins, so the activity doesn't stall while someone searches the kitchen.

• For each activity, decide:
• Which room or area it uses
• Whether it happens before or after the meal
• Which adult is the contact for it
• What children can do instead if they would rather stay with their accompanying adult

Build the Evening Schedule

• 1. Agree on a shared mealtime with the accompanying adults, taking the children's usual routines into account.
• 2. Set an arrival window and a departure window around that mealtime.
• 3. Decide whether each activity comes before or after the meal.
• 4. Assign an adult contact to each activity and confirm they have agreed.
• 5. Choose a transition cue for moving between activities and the table, such as an announcement from the host.
• 6. Plan an alternative for children who prefer to stay with their adults.

Hypothetical Example Schedule

In this illustrative example, the accompanying adults agree to the following plan. These times were negotiated for one event. They are not recommended times for any age group.

Planning Grid Template

Fill in one row per household. When the grid is complete, it becomes the record of what everyone agreed to.

Household | Arrival/departure window | Meal preferences (confirmed by adult) | Items to discuss | Chosen activity | Responsible adult | Transition cue
----------|--------------------------|---------------------------------------|------------------|-----------------|-------------------|---------------
          |                          |                                       |                  |                 |                   |
          |                          |                                       |                  |                 |                   |

Leave Seat Assignments for the Seating Chart

The grid and schedule show who comes, what they eat, what they do and who is responsible. Decide exactly where each guest sits as a separate step with a seating chart, once these decisions are settled.